Singlehood: A Time Of Strengthening


What does a married woman know about being single? We’re obviously not born already attached to our spouses. Being married for a decade is not long enough. I witnessed my grandparents celebrate their golden wedding anniversary when I was 8. They were married for half a century! Whoa right? My parents were married for 38 years which ended when my dad passed away.

I was a single mother for 4 years, not without the stigma of having a child out of wedlock in a devout Catholic family. I can imagine what people were thinking of me. They didn’t have to say it but I was more intent in caring about what God thought of me instead and for this reason, I didn’t have it bad. I worked but I was living with my parents (this was a cultural norm where I came from) and I didn’t have to spend money on daycare when I wanted to go do my own thing. Of course, that didn’t last for too long. God saw to it that my son would not grow up getting so used to the idea of not having a father. Isn’t God awesome? I don’t want to seem insensitive to those who are frustrated of waiting a long time for their spouse. I had moments of loneliness and other struggles I dealt with but God’s mercy and goodness surpasses those moments.

There are also people whom God gifted to remain single to travel and go on mission trips. I thought being single and traveling was going to be my lot but I’m more than thankful I went with God’s plan instead.

If you find yourself being sad and depressed wondering when the right one will come, let me assure you, that day will definitely come at a time you least expect (from my own experience anyway). One possible reason for the delay is that God is either preparing you or your spouse for each other. There are attitudes (specially issues regarding submission) and or past relationship hurts that need to be dealt with. In the mean time, use your singlehood to get strengthened in Christ because when you get married, you’re definitely going to need it. My husband and I went through things that rocked our faith and yet, it was those same moments that God showed His hand in working in us to develop our faith.

It’s not when you think you’re ready to have a spouse. It’s when God sees you’re ready that He orchestrates the moment where you and your future spouse’s paths collide. He is always looking out for your benefit and He is so good He would not give you something that He knows is going to end up in failure for God hates divorce (Malachi 2:13-16). Divorce is only permissible on grounds of infidelity (Matthew 5:32) and when an unbelieving spouse decides to leave the marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15) – this case would be for those who are unbelievers, got married and one of them converts to Christianity.  We’re not looking to Hollywood as our model where people get married, possibly last a year or two and in extreme cases, last for only a few weeks and then get a divorce citing “irreconcilable differences.” When we make vows and say, “’til death do us part” in the eyes of God, we’re expected to honor it for life. That is the Christian way.

He wants to give you the person who is after His heart, a companion who will not only help you grow in your walk of faith but someone who will treat you with respect, love and cherish you until your last breath.

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