This isn’t some weird type of confession but I must admit I am starting the year spiritually out of sorts. I find myself straying further away from God because of my preoccupation with worthless details because of the move and it is slowly dawning on me, the severity of my decision to go without a car. I haven’t felt this way in almost 10 years, to feel as if I am without options. Sure I can walk the city blocks but how about going places whenever I need to without having to rely on public transportation? I have to re-accustom myself to that. It’s no punishment but to me, it is definitely an inconvenience especially when the weather here is not always sunny. But, pardon me for simply whining. It is by God’s mercy and blessing that He took away my car because I would have skidded to oblivion on the way here and also, the apartment we’re staying in only allows for one assigned parking space which went to my husband. Someone could loot or maybe steal my car if I parked it somewhere around the block.
Aside from baring my spiritual weakness and missing my freedom to go places, I thought I would throw in a fun confession about my obsession with the color purple and analogous hues – not a new obsession, been awhile now and btw, those things are old, not new.
It even extends to a whole range of items like towels, plates, bathroom stuff etc. and I subjected my husband to it. I’m glad it doesn’t actually bother him one bit. I especially like the eggplant color so much that goes so well with espresso colored furniture.
Another thing that I am currently dealing with is … I am ISO eine gute Freundin. Okay. I could easily say that in English but I wanted to incorporate a German phrase to this entry even though I don’t speak it (yeah this is weird here but I think it sounds cool.) Simply put, one of the woes of having to move to a new place is to be in search of a good friend. I never really got around to finding a tried and true one when I moved from NYC to FL ten years ago and now it seems I’m back to square one. Now I ask, why would God move me here? Is there someone here in search of a friend like I am? Am I going to be part of God’s answer to someone’s prayer or is someone here the answer of my prayer to God?
In my close to 3 weeks here in OR, I haven’t made friends with anyone except a quick acquaintance with a woman with facial piercings, a transplant from Cali who works in the deli section at Fred Meyers, who happened to remember me surprisingly. It had been close to 2 weeks since we first interacted when I told her, “There’s nothing like buying comfort food especially after having flunked a test.” Who wouldn’t remember that? I know I probably would.
I thought this was going to be a quick one but it seems thoughts of all sorts are just going off in my head and I’m going to stop before I fill this entry with a bunch of non sequitur.
Man, I need to seek God’s face, seriously…