Modesty: Reflecting Christlikeness In A Woman’s Life


Listening to Amir Tsarfati made me realize something so profoundly. I just love the part when he talked about the Ten Virgins. They all had something in common, waiting for the bridegroom and they all probably dressed the same too but some of them were wise and some, foolish.

Let’s stick to the part where one could hardly tell them apart. The Christian world is plagued with dearth of discernment and I can honestly say, I scratch my head when I start to read blogs from other professing believers. It’s wonderful and I can see God working through the person’s life undoubtedly but what I am seriously baffled about is I’m not sure if it’s more of a stumbling block for some people to see believers dress provocatively which makes it hard to see the distinction between them and women who clearly do not fear the Lord.

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!”

Matthew 18:6-7

You got saved. Awesome! There’s nothing more awesome in the world than this. It’s not guaranteed however that we live out our salvation instantaneously, we all know this. But there are things to consider. How we conduct ourselves makes an impact on people. Not only that, it is the nonverbal cue (fruit) that tells people whether we have integrity which aligns to who and what we claim we are.

I am talking to women here, especially professing believers in Christ. I am a woman and I of all people am aware of my shortcomings so if you think I’m judging you, you can think that but I am saying this because I care for you as a sister. If you happen to think I’m attacking you, all I can say is I rest in the fact that God knows my intent. Whether when I was fit or fat, I never liked putting emphasis on my body not because of a complex but simply because it was never something that appealed to me. I went through some momentary slutty phase (honestly, who hasn’t?) in my life but it never involved calling unwanted attention through the way I dressed myself.

If you want respect and you want to attract men who are truly from the Lord, you need to dress respectably. You can’t always blame it on other people and say, “They better have a covenant with their eyes ‘coz it’s totally not my fault he’s lusting over me.” In the eyes of God, both are guilty; the woman for dressing in such a way that is enticing the man, and the man, for running away with the sinful thoughts in his head. If you show a lot of skin, you honestly think men will see Christ in you? Of course not! They’ll think only of you and go as far as who knows where.

Are you truly the Lord’s? Only you can answer that, but one thing I can say is this… Being aware that we are living in a society where sex sells and is a main stumbling block for most male believers especially with imagery in pornography, would you contribute to their downfall by exposing too much of your body that you claim to save for your husband, the one you love because you contradict yourself if you dress in such a way like the world. Believe it or not, you may not have been defiled but you might as well be because men easily defile you in their thoughts. You know how disgusted I felt when I walk by and get a cat call from someone (this is pretty common in NYC)? It makes me scratch my head since those times, I was wearing baggy pants (I’m totally serious)! Imagine those wearing yoga pants…

You’re dressing to express how you see yourself. If you don’t respect yourself enough, it’s hard to expect that from everybody else. By all means I am not saying every Christian woman should dress like a Mormon or a nun. The very idea is quite revolting to me personally. I happen to love fashion, just not the kind that is calling blatant unwanted attention to myself. If I were to have attention, it would be the kind that makes people say I have Christ in me. What is expected from female believers as ambassadors of Christ is to dress in a way that exudes dignity and worth to represent Christ in us. For crying out loud there’s actually men who are aroused by seeing toe cleavage (sheesh I mean seriously). I never knew of this until one of my male friends brought this to my attention, how much more are being aroused by the sight of the shape of a woman’s body and exposed body parts? This calls for discernment from every professing woman believer in Christ.

Love your brother in Christ by not being a stumbling block. You are beautiful. God created you that way. Be Holy as He who is in you is Holy. Dressing provocatively is definitely not holy. That’s the streetwalker’s job, not yours. I am well aware God saves whoever repents but we all know there is definitely a distinction between the streetwalker who repents, simply, they stop being that. Now that’s what I call true repentance.

“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”

1 Timothy 2:9-10

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