The Ever Elusive BFF

bff

Aside from my husband, I suffer from a lack of true friends. I used to have a lot of acquaintances but rarely can I ever call them as tried and true. How does one define a true friend anyway? There’s this person who considers me her best friend but the feeling is not quite mutual. Even so, I have done the duties of a true friend towards this person and have gotten nothing in return but insults and a series of subtle manipulation and by this, I mean the person tells you things only you’d think a stupid person would say when in fact, they are saying it to get something their way without you even realizing it. I know it sounds complicated or maybe I just can’t quite articulate what I’m experiencing.

Regardless, I put up with this person’s charade for over a decade and have come to the conclusion that I need to cut ties with this person and so I have. This so called friendship has only drawn me to nothing but negativity. How can one deal with such a person? It makes me wonder how God ever puts up with us when we act in the same manner of the one who happens to offend us… He truly is a longsuffering and merciful God who continues to love us despite our disobedience when we want to pursue our wayward tendencies.

I could only hope that the Holy Spirit would work through me to give me more patience and longsuffering so as to be gracious enough not to have told her that the best thing she could do as a friend was for her to leave me alone but I did just that. I know I am supposed to reflect the character of my Father in heaven but in this, I have truly failed.

I am not a difficult person. My upbringing actually makes me to be a little bit towards the submissive side, and believe it or not, my threshold for annoyance is actually higher than usual. Since I have done a 180 from my former way of life, I’m a little bit too wary about befriending just anyone. It also doesn’t help that I moved away from New York where my friends are, to a more isolated little suburb in Central FL filled with Octogenarians, a far cry from the City that never sleeps.

I made friends with a lady who lived next door to our condo. She raised Koi fishes in a portable pool inside her condo and apparently, that became an issue that she eventually had to move away. She truly was a gem and had a generous heart that she habitually gave my son gifts just to put a smile on his face. It’s hard to find someone you just instantly have a deep connection with and not just superficial ones where you can’t get past the small talk. Another deal breaker for me is when one likes to gossip a lot. I can’t stand that in a so called friend. If they can talk bad about other people to you, they’ll easily talk crap about you to someone else.

As for now, I suppose God has me in isolation to teach me that the only friend I should take solace and comfort from is none other than Himself.

[Image Credits: Google Search. Special Thanks to OP briananthonys.com]

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